Sunday, December 5, 2010



Why not ? Sick of all that green and red parafernalia called Xmas, fed up with all that pouring gold far too bling bling for you. Time for a polar bear Xmas then.

Don't you worry, you want turn into Snow White even if you wished to !

Feels like today !

A few easy tips to make the best of a stunning White Xmas :

1st, a car expedition to the nearest IKEA will be highly suggested; I'm like your banker, safe and sound, reliable and all that shit..Your IKEA safari will be without your Sweety Pie of a husband : he'll hate it, he'll hate you and you will definitely end up hating him... Merry Xmas to you ! A friend would be much wiser if I were to stay married as far as December 24th.

10 o'clock sharp : so there you are with your best friend ( that is, the stupid idiot who accepted your generous invitation to an IKEA safari ) on the parking lot of your nearest IKEA; start with the 1 € coffee to jot your white ideas on your white moleskine brainbook, honey.

- you'll pick a few white curtains to make a change from your dark chocolate ones. You're poorer by about 50 € + the 1 € coffee. Ok as far as it goes.
- settle on a white long hair rug like in the mist of Tibet ( well, right, they live in a yourte ) instead of your sisal carpet to give your living room that comfy chalet feeling. From there on, why don't you skip counting your expenses, you'll feel so much better !
- get hold of a bunch of white frames in which you'll post your whole family white style .
- heap your super large family cart with all the white candles you can grab, all sizes will do . They will give a totally Swedish or Norwegian cool look all cast together in front of your window or your mantelpiece.
Nicely set in a corner of your living room will give it a casual atmosphere.
Don't forget to place one in every room, that's the real Xmas spirit; it isn't secluded to the living room only. Xmas spirit is everywhere ... even in the loo, where you will keep a candle on , so that it feels real comfortable and inviting, a few white books will be appreciated too.  Well, if your family and guest don't ever come out, I would suggest then to burn it out.
- if you happen to get to the throws and blankets, pick a bunch of white ones to throw on your sofa, for the cosy touch.
- and if you're in need of a fuller decoration, stock about 5 to 8 white china vases of different shapes or sizes which will give an all new deco to your space. That's called easy interior decoration : 100 € budget is not a killer, and you're all new Darling ! You'll place them on the same shelf, or side table to the best of effects. Grand decoration !

We're almost done as you have already made the whole Ikea's day and it's by now only 11.
Time to hit the cashier reef, but be sure first to load your cart with as many white 9 € orchids as you can, you'll get a 2 months decoration benefit with them and they might burgeaon again a year later when you least think of it; so it's a 4 months decoration deal with of course, in the meantime fake orchids from SIA that you'll stick into the plant and all those stupid fools will never know the difference !

Now's the bad part of the day, bringing all that stuff home but you are so excited by all your fabulous buys that you don't even count the miles.

It's all there by now in your entrance hall; you've discarded your nice little friend ( you're so generous to let her up to her door even if she lives in Putnam by the Seine) so that you can hit home yourself and get to hands unto serious interior Xmas design  decoration ( bound to impress all your friends for life, there's a challenge !)

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